Your tits are I can't wait for
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
