She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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