Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
