Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
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She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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