He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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