I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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