I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
