i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
