We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize