I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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