wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
