You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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