so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
