If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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