New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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