the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.