is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
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he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.