i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say