so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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