You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
