I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
