I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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