So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize