apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
