Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
