im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
