So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
