Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
