mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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