Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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