Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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