She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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