you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
