I wish i was in the wii world.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
