Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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