its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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