At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
