And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
