is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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