Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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