i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
