we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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