Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
