It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.