peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's not a walk of shame if you run