After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.