If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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