Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
