No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
