glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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