we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
