How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
