The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
