I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
