I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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