I'm so fucking centered right now
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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