paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize