I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
