Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
