you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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