i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
