How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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