He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
