My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
