Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
