Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
