Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
