Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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