I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
