I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
