Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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